plants > people
Megan Thee Stallion & Amber Heard & Angelina Jolie & Evan Rachel Wood and all other bisexual victims of abuse deserve justice and eternal happiness. Seeing society repeatedly rip them apart and benefit off of women’s pain is terrifying and disgusting. I hope they all find love and peace within their own lives.
people who are aspec from trauma don’t need therapy to fix their aspecness. that’s aphobic. we’re allowed to exist as we are. the goal of therapy shouldn’t be changing our identities, but healing (as best we can). if that means we’re no longer aspec, that’s fine. and if that means we’re still aspec, that’s fine too. our experiences are allowed to shape who we are - even when it comes to queerness.
“Men who want to support women in our struggle for freedom and justice should understand that it is not terrifically important to us that they learn to cry; it is important to us that they stop the crimes of violence against us.” - Andrea Dworkin, Our Blood (1976)
Extreme Increase Domestic Violence: Kenya
During the first 2 weeks of Covid lockdown, domestic violence in Kenya rose by more than 300%.
Less than 3% of cases are reported to the police.
tw: everything: rape, abuse, child death, child sex abuse, murder, body mutilation
it just makes me SICK thinking about what megan thee stallion, fka twigs, evan rachel wood, amber heard and so many other survivors of intimate partner violence have endured only to have masses of crusty fucks stan their abusers. the way these women have to publicly retraumatise themselves over and over, reliving the worst moments of their lives only to be met with racism, misogyny, antisemiticism, homophobia and more threats of violence. there is no “both sides” to torture, to sexual assault, to battery, or attempted murder - there’s only you deciding whether compassion for someone who has been harmed is more important than being whatever your fucked up version of right is. This backlash against metoo, and third wave feminism is fucking killing people.
The argument that has existed for so long, is that “men will” (rape, molest, abuse, wound, kill) “therefore women should” (mould our behaviour around attempting to avoid this inevitability). The new argument against it aspires to a future time where “men won’t”, but turns a blind eye to the men that will. The answer is actually to make it so that “men can’t”. No matter how much they want to, or how women behave.
it’s not women picking the wrong guys, it’s men deliberately seeking out the most vulnerable women
Abusive men genuinely believe they have a right to abuse women. They see their actions as entirely justified — they would never call what they do abuse. They take their paternalistic role very seriously. They don’t even see it as a role they are taking on — it’s simply the natural order of things. They are the governors, the police, the judges and the bailiffs of their own personal country. They carry out these duties for all those in their realm — their wives, daughters, mothers and sisters. They don’t believe it’s for “her own good” when they abuse her — they only believe that they are defending their realm and keeping the peace by whatever means necessary.
Let me give an example. I was abused verbally and physically by my brother on a regular basis up until he turned 18 (at this point he temporarily moved out, and he also realized he didn’t possess the same impunity that he did as a minor). Often these episodes of abuse would come in the form of losing control after I in some way “provoked” him. The provocations ranged from wanting to change the TV channel to making a sound he found irritating to something he completely imagined. But it didn’t matter. Any of these things were seen as a purposeful, premeditated act of terrorism against his country. He exploded in “defense.” It wasn’t that he believed I was a danger to his safety — I was a danger to his sovereignty. To the abusive man, any small transgression is a challenge to his manhood, to his ultimate authority over those he governs, including himself.
Sometimes I think about all the women before me. How they managed to survive despite living in worse times. I want to live for them. I want to be their voice for better days for girls and women. I want a day where girls and women can walk at night freely, where they can chase after their dreams without worrying about anything except how they’re going to accomplish those dreams. I’ll fight for that day just like the girls and women before me have.
